Married with separate finances3/13/2023 Would it simplify tracking expenses? Maybe – depending on how you handle personal spending, but it carries that deadly risk of resentmentīeing honest, I can see myself becoming resentful if we combined finances and I saw my partner spend *our* money on things I don’t value.We’d just pay each other back (we’ve done it before) That wouldn’t change and we can lend each other money in a worst case, long term unemployed scenario. Would it help us manage emergencies and risks? No – we both have large emergency funds.Would it help us get better healthcare? No – our plans are similar and low priced.Would it help decrease our tax bill? No – we make almost identical amounts of money, so it wouldn’t help.I’ve done many thought experiments about this and every time the cons outweigh the pros. Well, we started out uncombined, by default, and every time a potential benefit comes up, it hasn’t been worth it for us. ![]() These accounts include money that each partner gets to use without the other one commenting on it….Sounds like mini-uncombined finances actually… Why Don’t We Combine Finances? Others create a modified solution, such as a ‘fun money’ account, which I’ve been told can help avoid developing financial resentment for their partner. ![]() I’ve heard that some people accomplish this easily. Healthy relationships require work so ideally you would approach problems as a partnership and work to stay aligned on the same financial goals and budget. is financial disagreements ( it’s the #1 reason in the UK). Based on a recent survey of divorced couples the #2 reason for divorce in the U.S. The specifics of marital property rights vary by state, but overall includes anything acquired during the marriage that was not specifically outlined in a prenuptial agreement (if you have one…).īut being a financial unit as well as a romantic one brings a lot of challenges along: lots of people fight about money constantly. Even if you keep your finances separate within your marriage, your assets are not legally solely your own. It doesn’t mean your relationship is less real or less serious. Combining finances works for many people, and there can be good reasons for it, but that doesn’t mean it has to be the default choice.Īnd if you get married, you’re inherently signing up for a legal and financial partnership with someone else. It’s literally a business agreement with some smooches thrown in (sounds like board meetings would be interesting…). Not combining finances (alongside not getting married) is a valid choice. ![]() It seems that combining finances is one of those unquestioned cultural choices that is taken for granted in the larger sequence of ‘adulting’: get married/combine finances, have kids, buy a house, then have a 50% chance of getting a divorce and possibly spending a third of your combined wealth on lawyers divvying up the other two thirds……Oops. Combining Finances: A Prefaceįirst, some background. I’m not going to give him mine to do with what he wants. My partner isn’t going to give me his share so I can retire now (why not?!). Now for the strange part. This milestone is completely arbitrary for one main reason: my partner and I don’t combine our finances. Hats off to anyone that does! While reaching this goal is a lovely excuse for enjoying wine and cheese in the park (our FIRE milestone ritual), it doesn’t really mean anything. Now I know what you’re thinking: Why doesn’t he just give you his portion so you can retire now? I’ve wondered the same thing! □ This is a special number for me because it’s the amount I need to retire. We finally did it! After saving intentionally for almost 4 years we reached a new milestone: my partner and I have amassed half a million dollars together.
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